The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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