M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
