i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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