We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
