well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
