I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize