I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
