Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
