I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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