I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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