Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Randomize
