yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
they need to just BURY HIM!
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Randomize
