i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
