no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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