did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
