Screwed.edu
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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