I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Randomize