I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Randomize
