There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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