MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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