a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
