Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
