So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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