I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
