I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Randomize
