Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
