That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
