South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Randomize
