Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
