You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
