your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
