are you so shy because you have an std?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
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