He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
