Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
