So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
