Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize