oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
