Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
You're like the curious george of whores
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
