Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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