You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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