No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize
