this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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