I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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