the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
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