She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I believe in your delicious
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize