Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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