the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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