I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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