I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
