scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize