we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
