Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
You can't special order awesome
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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