so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
