Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
