Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
