like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
we made out on top of his cat.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
