.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
